Patience and toddlers. Those two words together seem so contradictory. Can they be in the same sentence? Toddlers have little to no patience inside themselves and to have more patience with your toddler can seem like a very big thing to ask.
Maybe you feel like as much as you want to have patience with your child you can’t seem to achieve it. At least not consistently.
Yet, God calls us to be patient as believers. And that includes being patient with our children, even the ones we call toddlers.
Here are 7 super tips that will help you in your motherhood journey to become more patient with the little impatient people in your life.
This post is all about how to be more patient with your toddler.
First of all, what is patience?
According to the Oxford Languages Dictionary, patience is, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” It means that you can wait for something for a long time without becoming annoyed or upset.
Toddlers can sometimes be the cause of this trouble or delay in your life. Don’t get me wrong, I love the toddler stage. As my son grew older, I loved it even more. I enjoyed my 2-year-old more than my newborn. However, even though the joys increased, the test of my patience also increased.
With toddlers, there is a lot of repetition, mistakes, and learning. They have spills and are clumsy. Many times they do things that would have never crossed your mind. They disobey and have a hard time understanding you. Sometimes their excitement overtakes them to the point of losing all sense of control. And most often than not, their energy is through the roof.
And all these things, though they are joyous (and I truly mean that) can also easily upset us and cause us to get angry very quickly.
Yet patience means that you can tolerate these delays and troubles without getting angry and upset. It does not mean that you do not correct and train your child. It means that you do not get angry with them.
If you feel like this is impossible I am here to tell you it is not. Not because I do it perfectly (we are all a work in progress.) But because God commands us to.
Here are 7 Super Tips to keep in mind to be more patient with your toddler.
How can you be more patient with your toddler?
1. Remember that patience is a fruit of the spirit
I am sorry, but we are going to start with the most convicting super tip first.
Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law.”
Patience is a fruit of the spirit. This means that if the Spirit of God is alive and well inside of us, patience is going to pour out – especially when we are placed under pressure.
In the previous verses in Galatians 5, Paul lists the fruits of the flesh, and bursts of anger are one of them.
If you find yourself frequently getting angry at your children losing your patience you are letting the flesh control you. But this is the GOOD NEWS – you do not have to live like that! You can feed the Spirit daily and allow it to work inside you more strongly than the flesh so that patience can be the initial response to frustration and trouble.
Dear sister, feed the spirit daily! Be in the Word of God, pray that He will fill you, and grow your patience with His strength. If you have been angry, confess it. Tell your kids and your husband that you are sorry and move forward.
You can be free from anger and grow in patience. It is possible because the God who is always patient is inside you. We rely not on our patience but on His.
One of my favorite quotes from Amy Carmichael is the following, “If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.”
Let us be so full with the sweet water of the spirit that even when we are suddenly jarred, only sweet water is spilled over.
If you want to learn more about growing your faith in God read 5 STEPS THAT WILL MAKE YOU A WOMAN OF FAITH
2. Remember that they will imitate you
If you are not patient with your toddler, they will not be patient. They are learning how to interact with others by the way you interact with them.
If you want to zoom out even more, the way that you interact with them now is the way they are going to interact with their children in the future. We do things the way our parents do things. (Of course, there is redemption and the ability to change if parents raise children in an unloving way but in general, we are a reflection of how we were raised.)
Patience is a very important character trait we must teach our children. Being an example of patience is one of the most effective ways you can instill that in your children.
Even the smallest little humans are already absorbing all your behaviors. Be an example of patience and grace! It will have such a wonderful effect on their lives.
3. Understand their capacity
Another tip to being more patient with your toddler is to understand where they are at developmentally. Many times as parents we ask more from them than they can give. Moms tend to do this, especially with their first child because everything is so new for them.
Of course, we want our toddlers to excel but we can easily give them tasks or place them in situations that are a bit too overwhelming for them. In these cases, they may react in a way that frustrates us.
For example, we can keep them out too late and they are very fussy all night. Or they act up on a vacation trip because they are out of their normal routine. We give them an activity that is appropriate for an older age group and they have a meltdown.
Keeping in mind what they are capable of helps us have more patience with them and understand that we need to back off a little or give them some space to grow.
I have always been encouraged by Psalm 103:14, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” God knows that we are fragile humans who don’t have it all together. He is patient with us because he knows we are but dust.
In the same way, we can be patient with our children knowing that they are tiny and still have a lot of growing to do. We can meet them where they are at, and help them grow and develop along the way.
4. Let go of perfection
This has been a big one for me (since I am a recovering perfectionist).
Many times our frustration and impatience come because things are not done or kept perfectly.
Our toddler may want to help in the kitchen and the potato slices you just chopped get knocked on the floor. Or you just spent an hour mopping your floors when your toddler accidentally spills all his juice over. Things will break and get stained. Things will not be kept in order at all times.
And that’s okay.
It is important to teach your children at an early age how to pick up and take care of their things. But remember what they are capable of. A 2-year-old cannot do what a 7-year-old can. That’s okay. They will get there.
Let them make a mess with the toys and later pick them up together. Allow them to play with plastic containers in the kitchen while you make dinner. Don’t stop them from running wild with their dad even if all the pillows are all over the floors.
It will be okay. It can get picked up later. And if it breaks or gets dirty, it is not the end of the world.
5. When you feel your pressure rising, take a breather
When those moments come that make you want to burst into anger, take a breather. It can be a simple deep breath before you say a word. Or maybe letting your spouse watch your child for a few minutes so that you can cool down.
Your toddler needs to see that you are staying in control. If they lose control with a tantrum and you lose control, too – things are not in a good place. Decide to stay in control. Keep your voice in an even tone and show your child that you are not moved by their behaviors.
Not only will this allow you to be more patient but also show your toddler what self-control looks like – and that is one of the most valuable things you can teach them from a young age!
6. Keep in mind the big picture
Being patient and long-suffering does not mean that you let disobedience and bad attitudes slide. On the contrary, when you are patient you can address these sin issues in your child even better.
When you are patient you can see where they need help. You can identify bad behaviors and address them in a firm, loving, and graceful way.
Your child will respond to correction more positively if you are in control and calm. They will see clearly that you love them and care for them and correct them because you want the best for them.
Always keep in mind the end goal! It’s not about you and it’s not about your children. It’s about obeying God and bringing up these humans He has entrusted to you in the way He has commanded. As you walk in obedience He will continue to strengthen you and grow your patience for the long journey.
7. Remember how patient God is with you
Lastly, remember God’s patience towards you. Although you are undeserving of His love, grace, and mercy, He has poured it over you in abundance. He has waited for you to turn to Him and seek Him. He has been with you in this journey of life and has been patient with you despite your mistakes and failures.
God’s patience with us should move us to show this same patience to our children. Because as parents, we are a reflection of God to our children. We are to show the same patience and long-suffering attitude that God has given us in a greater measure than we could ever ask for.
Wrap Up
Although parenting toddlers has its difficult moments, it can be done with peace and patience. Praise the Lord! He gives us strength and joy as we seek Him daily.
What a privilege and high calling to be a reflection of God to our toddler. May God continue to fill us with all that we need to live in a way that honors Him and uplifts our children! Praying that this encouraged you on how to be more patient with your toddler today.
With Love,
Jessica Ruth
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