God and sex. Are you comfortable saying those two words in the same sentence? Most people are not.
Today’s culture has made sex seem dirty and perverse. This has made it hard for Christians to understand god’s wonderful design for sexuality and see that sex is part of God’s plan for living creatures.
In this post, we are going to take a look at biblical sexuality and understand why God created sexual intimacy and how that affects the way we deal with our own sexuality.
This post is all about God’s design for sexuality.
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Why is it Important to Understand God’s Design for Sexuality?
My Story
While growing up, I only had one conversation with one of my parents about sex. It was a bit awkward and uncomfortable for both of us. As I went into my teenage years the culture taught me about sex (because if parents don’t the culture certainly will.)
What I learned from the culture was that sex is pleasurable and dirty and that there were no limits to my sexual expression as long as I was comfortable and so was the other person (if someone else was involved). This led me through a path of sexual exploration that led to guilt and shame.
A few years before I got married God graciously took me through a mental detox and showed me His design for the sexual relationship through John Piper’s book, Sex and The Supremacy of Christ. This completely opened my eyes to the beauty of sexuality, its reflection on the spiritual relationship between Christ and the church, and its purpose and place in the marriage relationship.
Flawed Views of Sexuality
When you do not understand God’s design for sexuality things get messy. Sexual immorality abounds, the flesh is never satisfied and shame and guilt are present. Everyone has a view of sexuality. The world has one view. The church has another. But the most important one is the view from God’s Word. Let’s briefly take a look at the first two and then end with the true view of sexuality.
The World’s Perspective on Sexuality
The world’s perspective on sexuality is simple: you do you. Your sexuality is what you make it out to be. Sexual expression is part of your identity. You are free to explore your sexual desires in whatever way you please as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. Same-sex attraction and gay marriage are natural relationships. You are the boss your of sexuality and you are not to boss around anyone else about theirs.
This perspective from our fallen world will take you on a road of sexual sin and sexual issues. Although this view of sexuality promotes “freedom”, it actually leads to bondage because it is a misuse of God’s good gift of sex. This view of sexual freedom is leading this generation into unhealthy sexual activity and addiction to all kinds of pornography.
The Church’s Perspective on Sexuality
On the other hand, the church has another perspective on sexuality. In an attempt to combat the cultural perspective, church leaders have created the purity narrative.
The purity narrative says that God created sex for the marriage relationship and if you are not married you should not be sexual. You should not think about it or do it. You must suppress your sexual desires until you are married. On your wedding night, you can let loose and do whatever you want on the marriage bed.
In this perspective, there is an emphasis on being sexually pure in order to please God. It is said that sexual maturity is getting married as a virgin. If you have messed up there is grace with God but you missed out on God’s best for you. You are a “bandaid that has lost its stickiness” or a “rose that has lost its petals.”
This view has some big pitfalls as well. This does not address the fact that God created human beings to be sexual from the moment they are born. It does not address issues like homosexuality, porn, sexual abuse, and sexual struggles in the marriage relationship.
Most importantly it is not consistent with the gospel because it separates people into two groups: pure and impure. But God’s word teaches us that our purity has nothing to do with our sexual choices but rather with receiving the forgiveness and grace of Jesus Christ.
What is The Biblical Perspective of Human Sexuality?
Human Sexuality is a Metaphor
The Bible is full of metaphors that help us understand spiritual truths. God designed creation in such a way that it would make himself more knowable to us.
For example, have you ever been thirsty? So thirsty that all you want is to find the nearest water fountain or water bottle you can get your hands on? You know that feeling of desperation and the satisfaction that follows once you have finally quenched your thirst. Jesus Christ used the metaphor of thirst to describe how he satisfies spiritual thirst. That brings it down to a level we can really understand!
The same thing goes for hunger, light, darkness, adoption, etc. God’s creation is pointing us to spiritual truths everywhere we look.
So why did God create human sexuality? What is the purpose behind it? John Piper puts it this way, “God created us as sexual beings to make God more deeply knowable.” Sexuality must be understood as an earthy aspect of humanity that points to a heavenly truth.
The truth is that we were made for intimacy. We were created with a deep longing to be known and loved by a God who will never leave us or forsake us. Our sexuality is a metaphor written within our bodies that gives us a human experience that helps us understand the most profound truth about God – his covenant love.
The Metaphor in Scripture
This metaphor of sexuality is used all throughout the Bible.
In Ephesians 5: 31-32, the apostle Paul explains “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” The apostle Paul is saying that the unique union of a man and woman in the marriage relationship is a picture of Christ Jesus and the church.
All throughout the Old Testament God uses sexual words to describe His relationship with Israel. He calls Israel a prostitute, a harlot, and an adulterer. He says that Isreal has left Him for other gods and has committed adultery towards Him.
Have you ever wondered why God uses sexual language to describe Isreal? Because He is describing how they have broken their covenant relationship with God. God is using the sexual to explain the spiritual.
In the Old Testament, the word used for sexual intimacy is Yada which means to deeply know. The word Yada is used more than 900 times in the Old Testament. Why so much? Because most often it is used to describe our intimate knowing of God and his intimate knowing of His covenant people.
Psalm 139 says, “O Lord, you have searched me and known (yada) me!” Proverbs 3:6 says, “In all your ways acknowledge (yada) him.” Scripture calls us to intimately know God, not just acknowledge Him. And it also tells us that He intimately knows us. He wants to be in a covenant relationship with us.
Sex is the most powerful thing that we have on this earth to understand those deep longings, the ecstasy of intimacy, and the pain of betrayal.
Our sexuality is deeply spiritual because it was created to be so.
How Does God’s Design for Sexuality Change Your Life?
If You Are A Single Person…
If you are a single person this understanding should change the way you deal with your sexuality. It is not something you should indulge in or suppress. Rather, you should steward it well by pursuing intimacy with God and pursuing a gold marriage.
Sexuality is just a physical expression of intimacy pointing us to the ultimate expression of intimacy we will one day have with God in heaven. Pursue the ultimate and most fulfilling intimacy with God! That is what you were designed for and what will bring you the most satisfaction on this side of heaven.
Also, your sexual desire is meant to drive you into a covenant relationship: marriage. Understand that your sexual desires are good and are to be expressed in a covenant relationship with your spouse. As a Christian, it is a step of obedience to pursue marriage and get married in order to express your sexual desires in a way that honors and glorifies God.
If You Are Married…
Understand that sexual intimacy is a celebration of covenant. It is something that points you both to a deeper understanding of God. It is also something that protects against the temptations of the world.
Enjoy sexual relations in marriage, address sexual issues that come up, and pursue sexual relations that are holy and honorable to God.
Need some marriage tips? Check out: CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE ADVICE EVERY MARRIED PERSON NEEDS TO HEAR
For Everyone…
Pursue sexual healing. The truth is, everyone is sexually broken. We are all in need of a renewed mind and more of Go’d truth in our lives. Pray that the Holy Spirit would show you areas of weakness and sexual aspects of your life that need change. He is faithful to answer those prayers. He wants to bring hope and healing to this area of your life.
Wrap Up
God’s design for sexuality is something that not many people understand. The enemy wants to keep it that way because once you do understand God’s design, it opens the door for you to experience your sexuality in a life-giving and joyful way.
God’s way is always best because He is the creator of all things. Remember there is no area of life He is not involved in and no sexual sin that He cannot heal and give you freedom from. Pursue Him in this area of your life and you will experience God and sex in the best way possible.
This post was all about God’s design for human sexuality.
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